Between regrets and happiness
by smileinyourlife
Summary: Another story. Hope you enjoy. R&R please, it will make my day ! English is not my mother tongue, sorry for the mistakes !


Here i come with a new story. CC thinks about her relation with Niles, and a surprise.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, just my imagination.

« At first, I just thought that I've lost a help. That's true, who will be there to make me some tea, coffee or to put my coat in the closet of the mansion ? I couldn't go against what I've learnt during my childhood, what my mother has told me. _Babcock and servant don't mix._

And yet, I've always gave the image of an independent woman, who goes against all that is settled and against the rules, and for this, I didn't even go against my mother and old prejudices ?!

Very smart, CC. It sounds so ridiculous now, but before I just didn't think that I was able to make it change. »

 _He opens the door and she is there in front of him. Already walking in and passing him while throwing her coat at him. « Here servant. Put it in the closet would you. And don't crease it, it's a Gucci. » She has not even looked at him. She has not even seen the hurt in his eyes._

 _This poor, old, decrepit, pathetic excuse for a man, who is only a servant, who doesn't have a life of his own. At that point, he didn't know what to do. Make as he has been told, that's to say put carefully her coat in the said closet. Or following her and yelling at her that he doesn't deserve it and that he hates her behavior, because the worst is that he knows that, deeply, she is not this cold and snob woman._

 _He wants to discover the reality behind her facade. Why is she so cold, so heartless. She must have been so hurt in the past. But what could he do ? A maid like him._

 _So he just opens the closet, throws the coat not carefully in there to make sure of his point and of his angriness and closes it again._

« Then, I understood that I've lost my best friend. True too, with who will I banter now, laugh, watch soap operas, insult ? It bothered me. He was the first person who would answer to me, laugh at me, insult me and not being ashamed of it or being afraid of me.

Even if our way of speaking together and just, well, being together was odd, it was how we worked. I would say something, he would insult me, I would insult him back, he would made a zinger or a prank and so one and so forth.

He was also my best friend because he was the only friend I've ever have. Yes. In my life, he is the only one who wasn't paid to be in my company, who wasn't a fake person from the mondain society. He was true with me and that's why he said what he wanted when I started to talk to him.

When I think about it now, I was a bitch. Talking to him like this. I didn't have the right to do it, after all he was a human being, like me. Even if I wonder sometimes if I'm a real human being.

I'm so harsh with people, I don't love anyone. First of all I don't love myself. If only I used to be a little less harsh with him, sometimes a thanks or a smile, for Even's sake it wouldn't have killed me ! »

 _« Niles I don't make it a habit of drinking with the help_

 _I've never been any help to you_

 _Exactly »_

 _« Sssh, don't you turn around_

 _Tell me want you wanna me to do_

 _Cluck like a chicken »_

 _« I can count the number of days I had with my father on one hand._

 _Seven ?_

 _You know that's funny._

 _Thank you very much._

 _No, I mean the fact that I'm really rich and that you're cleaning the toilets in suit and tie and rubber gloves._

 _Hey, you got me that time! »_

 _« My mental health is just a sick game to you, isn't it ?_

 _Rack'em up. Let's play again. »_

« Finally, it hit myself that I've lost a lover. No, not a lover. A… The… the man of my life. Yes. That's what he was. That he still is and will always be. »

 _« Me marry you? Please. You are a pathetic excuse for a man._

 _DITTO! But at least I know when to move on. You are going to spend the rest of your life pining for a man who doesn't love you, and has married a woman half your age. Look around you. They're married. They're starting a family. Where are you going to be ten, twenty years from now? You're going to be saying 'Merry Christmas!' to your friends in rehab and wondering what might have been! I'll be leaving first thing in the morning._

 _My god, he's right. The best years of my life are gone. And they sucked. »_

« Before all of that happened, I didn't know it of course. Funny how you understand the value of something only when you've lost them… I've lost him.

I continue to think it's not true, that he'll come back. And yet, I'm sure he is better where he is. He deserves it. He deserves all that I didn't give him when I had the chance.

The man was in love with me, he proposed to me, he put his heart in the ring and I just broke it, in a thousand pieces.

If I count correctly, it's not only one time that I broke and tear it apart. I broke it when I didn't answer to his proposals, when I insulted him, when I said that he was nothing more but a servant and a pathetic excuse for a man, and of course when I made him flee away. He abandoned his job, his house, the few people he had there who loved him.

I am the reason of his sadness. As always, I screw all up. »

« Miss Babcock, your time is over now. » said a nurse.

Since Niles' departure, CC was in somewhere that looked like The Place. Her sadness and regrets were too harsh to handle alone. She went by herself there, that's why nurses and doctors were kinder with her than with the other patients.

« By the way, you can pack some things to take with you. Somebody wants to see you. »

« What ? » CC asked, as if she hadn't heard right. She was staring at the nurse through the mirror she was sitting in front of. And thank God she was sitting on a chair.

The vision before her eyes merely made her faint. The nurse disappeared and a dark blond haired man entered the room.

In less than 3 seconds, CC's blue eyes caught Niles' blue orbs and everything passed between them. She saw him, he looked tired and his eyes, always so blue and wonderful, lacked something, they were not sparked as they were before.

Niles, in the meantime, saw tears in CC's eyes and all her sadness and regrets that overwhelmed her. Of course, he had overheard her session. It had been hard to hear all of it, because it's him who made her so sad, but also if he hadn't, maybe CC would never have realized and confess all of this.

After this, everything fell in place. Niles made two strides in the room, CC got up and tear her off from her chair. She ran the few meters that separated them. (She thought it was a dream, but she was afraid of this becoming a nightmare that she did once: he stood there, she tried to reach him by running in search of his arms but he would remained still and CC never achieved to reach him. As she ran, he moved backwards, black encircled him.)

But it remained a beautiful dream, and even more than that. It was reality. When CC's body hit Niles', she circled her arms around him and tighten her grip on him.

On his side, Niles took her in his arms, tighten his grip on her as she made and put his nose in her hair, smelling her perfume and wondering how he has managed to survive without her all those months.

It wasn't just their arms that were enlaced. Their chest were hold against each other and raising and falling quickly, as very different emotions overwhelmed them.

CC nestled her head in his neck, also smelling his cologne and his proper scent and also wondering how did she manage to live without him. She didn't, as she went here. He didn't, as he, well, went here too, and as he came back to her.

He was her servant, her best friend, the man of her life.

CC Babcock has never cried in front of someone since her younger age. Even when Niles left the mansion, even when she had her sessions, even when she was in her white room alone with herself and her thoughts.

But right now, against his hard chest, feeling his quick heartbeat and hiding in his neck, she let her tears fall down. Niles was very moved too, feeling tears filling his eyes. He let them fall in her hair, no matter if he was a man or not, he allowed himself to cry.

For some secondes, minutes, maybe hours, they just clung into each other, there was no need to talk. Their bodies and their soul were entwined.

At one point, Niles loosed his arms around her and tried to look at her face but she tighten her grip even more and whispered « Please, don't ever go again. Don't leave alone again. » He smiled, « I will never do it again. I'm so sorry I harmed you. I'm not going to leave you here, please, let me just look at you, I promise I am not going to run away. »

With a deep breath, CC let him go but just a little. He did as he said, he didn't disappear, he just looked at her face. Her hair were longer and a little brown line began to appear on the top of her head. She had no make up on her face, and she looked very lost, but her eyes were always so beautiful. He looked at her lips, which trembled a little.

He smiled, she smiled back. He kissed her slightly on her lips but she hardened it, as if her life depended on it. She made her hands travel his hair, they kissed long until the need of oxygen was to much. They broke the kiss but keep their foreheads against the other.

CC's hands came to his neck, while Niles' went to her cheeks. And they stood like this, in this white hospital room, looking into each others' eyes, their bodies still connected and their soul entwined like never before. Those two will never leave one alone again.

This scene was so tender, that the nurse hadn't the heart to break it, so she leave them alone for the time they needed to find their happiness again.


End file.
